It’s one of the things I’ve written about before because, evidently, it’s something that I struggle with a good bit. And one reason I write is that writing send to help me work through things… so, welcome to the process, I guess? Often I feel inadequate, like I’m not enough (I’ve done the best I can with what I have and it’s just not enough, or I’m faced with a situation that I have no idea how to handle). I feel this way especially when it comes to being a husband and a father, disappointing and letting down the people I love most; even being a Christian, doing a poor job of ministering in the name of Christ.
Another major reason I write about some of my struggles is because I know I’m not alone in them. A lot of us, particularly men who care about leading our families well, struggle with these insecurities. We work hard, we pray, we think, we try, and it just feels insufficient. We feel like massive disappointments. So, I write to remind myself and others of the answer – the true gospel and its power.
The gospel of Christ is so much better than any self-help mumbo jumbo out there. And it is far superior to the powerless, watered down, “Jesus is my buddy” garbage I hear a lot. If I could help myself, if I was enough with just a little help from God, then Jesus wouldn’t have had to suffer and bleed and die to RESCUE me. But that’s a different rant for another day. The answer is not needing someone to pump us up and inflate our fragile egos, telling us we’re amazing (though genuine, biblical encouragement is always helpful). We don’t look in the mirror and tell ourselves that “We’re good enough, we’re smart enough, and doggone it people like us.” Well, at least that doesn’t work for me. Because I know me. I know who I am. Deep down, I know I’m not enough.
Just because I say I’m not enough doesn’t mean I’m not loved. The feelings of inadequacy aren’t necessarily the problem. What’s happening when those emotions take over is I FEEL like I’m not doing enough to be loved or accepted. The problem is when I allow those feelings to overwhelm me, to control my thoughts and I begin to base my VALUE and WORTH on those emotions instead of the Truth. The answer is not for me to try to convince myself that I am enough or that I am doing enough. The answer is for me to preach the gospel to myself and rest in His love and acceptance; to remember that I am loved and accepted regardless of how I perform; to remember truth. When I start to feel that way it means my focus is off. I’m falling back into a works-based or performance-based love and acceptance. So it’s a matter of focus, remembrance, trust, and rest. In other words – faith in Christ, what He has done, and who I am in Him.
So when we’re faced with feelings and emotions that threaten to drag us down to the Pit of Despair to torture and suck the life out of us… again… we run to Christ… again! He is the answer. He, through His Spirit and the power of His gospel, gives us peace, hope, comfort, joy. When I think about how good this message truly is… When I think about how unbelievably gracious and loving and merciful Jesus truly is… My situations don’t automatically resolve themselves; difficult circumstances don’t magically become easy… but I am flooded with peace and He gives me strength for the day… One day at a time.
The gospel is not that He makes us enough, or that the Holy Spirit gives us the strength and power to be enough. The beauty of the gospel is (at least in part) that even though we are not enough and never will be enough, He is enough on our behalf! He knew we would never be enough. He knew we would never measure up. He knew that all we would bring to this relationship with Him is our sin and failure. Yet He chooses to lavish His love on us anyway. Even in our sin, He graciously and mercifully credits His righteousness, His “enough-ness” to our account. He is enough – for us. He even adopts us into His family. Think about that, child of God.
The Creator of the universe knew what He was getting when He created us. He knew exactly what He was getting into when He chose to save us. So, our repeated struggles don’t surprise or frustrate Him.
He tells us to bring our cares, concerns, and burdens to Him because He cares for us (1 Pet. 5:7). He tells us that we have been adopted into His family (Eph. 1:5-8, John 1:12-13) – He calls you son. He calls you daughter. He will never turn his back on you (Rom. 8:31-39). He gives us grace sufficient for our struggles (2 Cor. 12:9). He empowers us for the good works He has prepared for us to do (Eph. 2:10).
Because of Christ, His love, His grace, His mercy, and because of the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit that He places in us, we do change. We do begin to look more like Jesus in our thoughts, words, and actions. But we will still never be enough. It is good for us to work hard – to strive toward the goals He has given us in the strength He provides. It’s even good for us to struggle – to wrestle with and put to death our sinful flesh. But anytime we begin to derive our worth and value from any of our accomplishments or anything that we have done or any progress we have made, or the lack thereof… we will fall.
So, brother or sister in Christ, preach the true gospel to yourself… and while we work, we rest in Him and the work He has already accomplished for us – His “enough-ness”.